Mary and I worked together in Brent as Teachers of the Deaf. We were an advisory team working newly diagnosed deaf babies. For safety reasons we tried to make an initial visit together.

It was a dark rainy November night in 2006 at 6pm. We were in the heart of Stonebridge in a block of flats due for demolition half empty. We walked into the building and none of the lights on the stairwells were working but there was a lift. I refused to walk up the dark stairs and so we went up in the lift. The mobile phones we had were old nokia style bricks with no torches. The door closed with a creak and the lift moved up and came to a sudden halt before it had reached the required floor. Then the lights went out.

Mary remained calm and thoughtful, and I developed a nervous giggle (it has returned now as I am writing). We tried pressing buttons and shouting. Mary in her problem-solving way thought to try the phone and call the family we were visiting. She managed to speak to them, and they went and called the lift which sprung back into life and took us to the correct floor.

After the visit we found a different stairwell and walked down. (Those flats continued to be a problem on many visits after this occasion.)

I still relate this story often to friends and will now think of Mary each time I am about to step into a lift. She will always be a wonderful friend to have. She looked after and thought of everyone else before herself and when asked how she felt at the time she replied that her concern was that I was ok and not her own anxieties. 

Mary will remain my very good work buddy and friend. Her care and wisdom will stay with me.  I will continue to stop and wonder “what would Mary do” in many aspects of life.

Deborah